White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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