It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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