well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
