Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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