I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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