i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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