I swear she didn't look like that last week.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
