ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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