Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
