Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
