I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
