What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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