I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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