i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
