Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
