Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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