That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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