forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
