do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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