i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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