i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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