Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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