i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
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seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
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Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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