So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
