I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Randomize
