i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
