If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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