Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
