Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
