Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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