she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
