You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize