Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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