he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize
