go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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