u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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