I could make wine with my vomit
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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