Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
A+ Viking dick
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
