but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
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