There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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