Got a toothbrush?
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
he fucked my hip out of place.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Randomize
