Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
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I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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