apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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