I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
