ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
