plz talk dirty to me
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
