I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
