allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
