both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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