I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
if only i could text you this smell
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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