Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
