I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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