I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
