Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
