why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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