Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize