Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
