Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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