We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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