; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
