I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize