We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
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You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
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i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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