I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
