So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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