Dude my mom stole all your condoms
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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